I think I waited for this day since before they were even born. I knew it was going to be a tough year, and I told myself countless times that we just needed to get through the first year.
It has been the most exhausting year of my life. Both mentally and physically. Someone said to me a few months ago, "Is it really that much harder with twins?" I just shook my head. There was no way I could have this person understand. It is tough. Yet, when people see me with all the kids and make comments to like, "Oh, wow, poor you," I get mad. My kids are wonderful. I am so, so lucky to have them. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Lailah and Tegan complete this family. They bring me and Jake and Mal (and each other) so much joy. Thinking through where we were and where we are now is mind blowing. I was so worried there would not be enough of me to go around (and in many ways there was not). I worried they would not be held enough, cuddled and kissed and loved enough, read to enough. I worried that they would be missing out on everything.
I said we just needed to survive the first year...and we did, but not without an enormous amount of help and support and love and kindness from so many people. I was never good at accepting help. You get better at it when you really need it. We had help in ways that I never could have dreamed of, from people I never expected to help. People held babies, cleaned up messes, washed bottles, folded laundry, took kids for walks, changed diapers, went shopping, cooked, shopped and were just generally there for us when we could not leave to see anyone. It has been so amazing for us, and I know that our girls, who I was so worried about not having enough, are so much better off from all of the love and attention that we have been able to give them, AND from all of the love they have from others. They our amazing. Our friends are amazing. Life is amazing. What an amazing year it has been.
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